Cliques

Despite the great pride that all Persians show in their culture, we seem to also put our noses up to Persians that may not be as fitting to the Persian culture as they could be. Naturally, impenetrable cliques form, and gossip flows around the community stronger and more incessant that Niagara Falls. Why? Well, I'm not completely sure. It could be that we value our culture so much that we only want a select few individuals to represent it.

Phone Conversations

Another very common tendency of Iranians is to incessantly repeat a simple point they are making. However, in an effort to make my life frustrating, they also do this over the phone. For example, my father might call me to tell me to simply take out the trash when I arrive home. This request, all repetition considered, would easily take five to ten minutes depending on the circumstances. Combined with an Iranian accent, this may well be one the most annoying situations in the world. That is all.

Persian Soccer

When living in any community of Persians, more often than not you will come across the opportunity to play a friendly game of soccer with them. But, as you may have guessed, the exorbitant amount of Persian pride that most Iranians carry is just not capable of involving itself in a modest soccer game. That said, I will attempt to identify the hilarious cultural tendencies that seemed to ensue at yesterday’s "friendly".

Beginning the game there was nothing unusual- nice, clean passes coupled with an appropriate amount of aggressiveness. However, as the game progressed, some of the adult Iranians began to get physical by throwing some mild pushes while trying to play them off like there was no contact whatsoever. This is quite humorous because whenever this happens, the aggressor becomes defensive by clenching his shoulders up pointing, with open hands, towards the ground and saying something along the lines of “Eh! Dat was nuh-ting!” Even funnier, is when the aggressor actually persists on gaining possession of the ball after his foul, seeing as he struggles to actually obtain possession of it and only looks foolish after wasting five minutes of game play.

About midway through the game, some people actually had the nerve to leave the game due to a time conflict. But based on their frustration and aggravation, it can easily be concluded that they were leaving out of poor sportsmanship.

By the end of the game, you will also notice that the game has shifted from a physical game to a verbal one. While hearing the older Iranians scream at their kids for not sprinting constantly, you will also hear some of the more gung ho players argue incessantly over a trival offsides play and they derserve some sort of apology for it.

Yes, this is Persian soccer at its finest. So, if you ever come across such an opporunity, I would heavily advise any non-Iranian to pass it, seeing as the aforementioned tendencies would ruin any amount of enjoyment that is supposed to be experienced at a small soccer game.

Accents

Being the son of an Iranian immigrant, I can't help but recognize my father's accent. However, beyond recognition, I sometimes (Ok...usually) find immense humor in it. Allow me to show you some examples:

1) Double ~ Dab-el (Dabble)

2) Olympics ~ Oh-lam-pics

3) Theory ~ Tay-oh-ree

These are some of my favorites that I can't help but chuckle when I hear them.